Winning and Losing, How do you handle it?

Recently I have played a couple games where my list and tactics was simply crushing my opponent. I wasn't being a dick about it, and there wasn't any rules disagreements. It was simply, I had better units in a better position and they were doing what they do, crush the enemy. As turn 2 or 3 went on, and the game was clearly swinging in my favor, my opponents were not having fun and were beginning to become hostile to my army. The word "broken" and OP was spoken. When did regular Space Marines become cheesy?

The first time it was in a friendly game, and I could back off the gas pedal. The second was at a RTT. I could have wiped him to a man, but instead we called the game a little early and battle points were left on the table. ( I could have killed his HQ and took a 19. Instead I settled for 16 battle points. ) Now during the second game, I could tell he was not having fun. I stopped the game and even made a comment about it. He said the situation sucked and just wanted to get the game over. I know this lead to me letting the game end and not going for more points.

Barney said he loved the "story of a hopeful, young karate enthusiast whose dreams and moxie take him all the way to the All-Valley Karate Championship. Of course, he loses in the final round to that nerd kid. But he learns an important lesson about accepting defeat."

These two games have been bugging me for a couple weeks. I think the reason is, is because I view the game differently than my opponents. When I'm losing, it is MY fault. Not my armies ( I chose the list), not my dice ( I put myself in that situation to let dice determine the game), and not my opponents over powered army ( all armies are beatable, and if it is in the codex, it's ok to take it).

Scene from Batman Begins: "Why do we fall, Bruce? So we can learn and pick ourselves back up."

 I grew up with competition. My dad taught me to play chess. For years I learned how to lose. "If you do not know how to lose, you will never learn how to get better." was a line I heard alot. I also played baseball all the way through high school. It was always hard losing. I cared alot but it also meant I would practice harder to improve.

Last year my daughter played on 2 different softball team. She was on her grades team, which was coach pitch with no score being kept. Everyone also batted so it did not matter how many outs you got. She also played on the grade ahead of her's team. They were short a couple players and she was one of the lucky ones to "get called up". The 4-5th graders pitched to each other. They had full rules with the exception of no stealing when the pitcher had the ball. The year started with a couple 4-5th grade games and my daughter was not happy. She struck out a couple times, and did not see much playing time. I talked to her and we talked about how life is not fair. How you have to learn from defeat in order to get better.

The next week her grade's games started. She did awesome smacking the ball around, and running the bases. After about half the season over she asked if she had to play for her grade. When I asked her why she did not, she said because they don't keep score and that's not fun. The funny part about it is, the 4-5th grade team was losing most of their games. For her it was not about wining, but about competing!

If John Wayne lost to GK, would he blame GW for making them OP? I think not. He would dust himself off and get right back on that "horse"!

I think this " We don't keep score so no one's feelings get hurt" crap is hurting our kids in the long run. They are not learning how to deal with losing and how to be a good sport when winning. There is to much "It's not my fault" crap going around with grown ups too. People need to take responsibility for their own actions. Maybe I'm becoming more Libertarian in my old age. Sometimes I think this whole government needs to do everything for me crap is bleeding over into my 40k games. They blame GW or other codexes for their losses.

Why bring all of this up. Well they say 40k is a 2 person game, and it is each person's responsibility to try to make the game fun for both parties. When one is losing, we don't offen think "is the winner having fun"? 40k is like skiing, you first have to learn the right way to fall or you will hurt yourself or quit skiing. I can not have fun if you are not. I care too much. I guess that's why those games bugged me. I was looking at what I could do to make the game more fun for my opponent, like I did something wrong.

So how do we have fun while still playing a competitive game? Well first off we need to know how to lose. We need to know how to "get back up" and learn from our mistakes. This makes you a better player. I think this is the old saying of "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." is very true. So learn from your mistakes and blame no one for your loses. That covers losing.

Winning is another beast. I think it is hard to win. I always feel compassion for my opponent. Survivors guilt I suppose. I don't have alot of advise except to stay humble. No one likes a braggart.

I could go on for ever on this subject as it bugs me so. Instead I will be glad I vented here and leave a quote from one of the men I admire from history.

Americans play to win at all times. I wouldn't give a hoot and hell for a man who lost and laughed. That's why Americans have never lost nor ever lose a war.
George S. Patton